Can't you taste this gold? (backdated)

[detectiveofthewest]

Some time after the swordfight with Hershel, Heiji returned to the scene of the crime the lounge, shinai propped up against one shoulder. The room was in complete disarray, and while he hadn't actually meant for that to happen, well... it was partially his fault anyway.

And he did feel a little bad for ripping up one of Snake's only magazines. So he started putting a few things back where they belonged, starting with the various videos of horrible experiments. Stanford Prison Experiments, those obviously went under 'S', and -- hm? One of the videos was unmarked. Out of curiosity, he hauled the TV back upright and turned the movie on.

Five minutes and a few bad decisions later, Heiji was alternately lip-synching and bobbing around to something that sounded an awful lot like this in between his practice swings.

"I'm so fancy~
You already know
I'm in the fast lane
From L.A. to Tokyo..."

...He might also have been singing along to the chorus.

Comments

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel was also returning to the scene of the crime, more because of guilt and the need to repent by cleaning up than anything interesting. He's almost there when he hears... singing? He stops, brow furrowing. What on earth was that? Was someone playing one of those bad games again? He walks in, stopping dead when he sees Heiji.

"..."

Hershel covers his mouth, trying not to laugh.

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji dropped his shinai and held it upside down, pretending that it was a microphone as he continued to sing loudly.

"I'm so fancy
Can't you taste this gold?
Remember my n--"

Suddenly, he noticed Hershel there and instantly lost his grip on the sword. Cue him trying multiple times before it fell over and managing to snag it at the very last minute.

"H-H-Hershel! How much of that did ya see?"

This was important ok.

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel kept his mouth covered, seriously he's trying so hard right now. This is the truest test of friendship. "Ah, well, I think somewhere between the fast lane and tasting gold, that sounds about right."

Have a bright, if not teasing, smile. "All this time I thought Mr. Wilder was the rockstar, who would have thought you had such a spirit, Heiji." Never letting you live this down, bro.

[detectiveofthewest]

"L-look, it ain't what ya think, okay? I was just cleanin' up, and I found this DVD out of nowhere, so I thought I'd put it in and see what was on it!"

Yes, he was the victim in this situation! Anyone would have done the same!

[puzzlinglad]

Caught red handed, Heiji, give up. "And you thought you'd sing along?" Busted.

Have a smile. "I'm sure you were just trying to give Calhoun a more literal show, right?" Yeah, dry as hell tone but look, an out for you.

[detectiveofthewest]

"It's a catchy song," muttered Heiji, crouching down a little to hide part of his face with the grip of the shinai.

"Nah, I just came in here to clean and it happened by accident. Look, you absolutely, positively, definitely can't tell Snake, okay? He will never let it go."

[puzzlinglad]

"He probably wouldn't. I can only imagine." Hershel made a show of considering this before finally smiling at Heiji. "My lips are sealed, promise, as entertaining as he'd no doubt find it." He's got you, bro.

"I think you'll be too busy apologizing for the magazine next time you see him anyway." Just. Looking at that ripped thing, they were superstars.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Uh, well... maybe we could keep that part about the magazine quiet," said Heiji, lowering his voice. "I mean, the pages are mostly intact, right? All we gotta do is put 'em back together in the right order, and... he might not know the difference."

You know. Aside from the tearing and the footprints and the what-have-you.

[puzzlinglad]

Uh huh... "Heiji, you realizes you sort of... well, squashed some of the braille." With your dramatic kendo stunts. Not that it wasn't impressive, highfive for those. "Maybe it's better to just go to Snake and apologize?"

British boy, always looking for the politest, dumbest way.

[detectiveofthewest]

"W-well... I kinda already saw him earlier, and he looked pretty steamed about it," said Heiji. He knew it was the right thing to do, of course, but --

"And I might've kinda missed my opportunity to say anything. Look, maybe... maybe once he cools down a little."

[puzzlinglad]

"Well, I can't blame him. I should apologize too..." He may not have done the stepping but this was pretty much his fault equally. Teenagers. "At least we got a four? I didn't really expect that."

Haha take that Ema and Snake, they win at being entertaining apparently.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Yeah, we did loads better than Snake and Ema!" Heiji seemed oddly proud of this. "Aaaanyway, I was thinkin'... since you went ahead and caught me singin' along to a video, it's only fair that you do one, too."

DO IT, HERSHEL.

[puzzlinglad]

"We certainly did, they- what?" Hershel stopped as he caught the tail end of Heiji's request, putting his hands up. "Oh, no no, I couldn't- I don't think I'm half the singer you are."

He was pretty convinced he's a bad singer I mean why would he be a good one, look at him. Will he cave? Spoilers yes, probably, he's a doormat.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Aww, come on," said Heiji, putting a comradely arm around Hershel. "It ain't how good a singer you are, it's how much feeling ya put into it!"

Cave, Hershel, or he's going to do the face thing!

[puzzlinglad]

You're worst than Randall, Heiji you traitor. He clearly looked like he was already starting to get swayed and eyed the tv with trepidation. "I probably don't know any of the songs but I guess if I do it couldn't hurt..."

Knowing his luck someone was going to walk in and ruin his sterling reputation, I hope you're happy sir.

[detectiveofthewest]

With a great big smile on his face, Heiji sat down on the couch. "There are a bunch of songs on here! Just choose one ya like and wing it!"

Yes. You were now his partner in crime, Hershel. AGAIN.

[puzzlinglad]

You're history's greatest monster, Heiji. Hershel sighed and sort of looked through the list, making faces at various titles. "None of these look familiar..." Hershel was under the distinct impression he wasn't very 'hip' when it came to music, or at least whatever music scene this was.

He just picked a song, sighing a little as it came on. He stared, completely confused at what seemed to be happening in it, before the music actually started and- "They're not really... singing?"

Then the chorus came on with a few 'motherfuckers' and Hershel looks scandalized. "My word!"

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji, on the other hand, looked like he was enjoying this enormously. "Didn't know you were a hip-hop fan! C'mon, let's hear ya lay down a beat!"

History's. Greatest. Monster. "Hey, this is actually pretty tame. I think, anyway."

[puzzlinglad]

"This is barely music!" So insulted and british. Hershel huffed as he changed it to the next song, making another face.

"What exactly is a G-6? Is that slang for something?" He's so, so bad at this.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Some kinda car, maybe? No, that's G36." Heiji was clearly not up on his hip-hop slang, alas.

"Guess you and I ain't big audiophiles!" He did, however, seem to find this much funnier than Hershel. "There's gotta be somethin' on here you can sing to. The anticipation is just killin' me."

[puzzlinglad]

"It's probably slang then..." But for what? Hershel doesn't know and doesn't want to know. He changed the song and ah ha ha. For a moment he was hopeful this wasn't terrible.

"Well, this doesn't seem so bad-" Like a virgin that's it kill him- "Heiji, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

[detectiveofthewest]

"Hey, you're the one changin' the songs, right? If ya wanna blame someone, blame Calhoun!" Whoops his hand slipped and wow nostalgia; he must have heard this song before! Heiji just couldn't help singing along. He wasn't as good as Colette, but he could stay on-key, and he made up for it with exuberance (i.e. loudness and a total lack of shame).

"If you wanna be with me
Baby, there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way~"

These are the people you're stuck with, Vivarium.

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel just watched him, somewhere between amused and I-can't-believe-you're-real-life. He sighed as he looked at the screen, not really knowing the song but trying at the 'I'm a genie in a bottle' part because he said he would, ok, and that part he sort of remembered.

He's too quiet and his 'singing' is more like embarrassed mumbling, but close enough. Yes murder game, this is one of your participants. There are two seventeen year olds doing this in the lounge, are you happy.

[detectiveofthewest]

Perhaps predictably, Heiji was just getting more into it and was now determined to make Hershel have fun with this, dammit. Which was how he ended up belting out the lyrics to the next song and elbowing Hershel to encourage him to sing louder.

"Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated~!"

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel still looked like a fish flopping around out of water but at least this song didn't talk about rubbing people or motherfuckers so he was a little more willing to sing it. He was even pretty sure he vaguely knew it.

He gave Heiji something of an exasperated look but tried his best to join him on the chorus- at least he could get the 'beat it's.' When it got to the next 'No one wants to be defeated' he remembered enough to actually kind of sing it. He's not bad by any means but he's still too quiet and nervous to really be called good and boy does his accent not go away and make the song sound a little weird.

Despite himself he seemed to be warming up to this whole singing thing, even tapping his foot along. Heiji was winning the war and the battle.