[He hates thinking about that possibility. But at the same time, he hates how he keeps trying to avoid the thought when it's pretty blatant that someone would generally be trained in using knives to... well. Knife people. That and:]

That's the problem, though. It already has.

[And those words definitely come out bitter.]

Calhoun knows about it. Something like this could come up again. But no matter how much I think it over, I can't figure out how to avoid it.

[Short of biting the bullet and, as Hershel had said, getting drugged - or worse. Whether it's his future or his past, he's screwed either way.]