"...it's huge!" Jesus fuck, man, turkeys were like chickens on steroids or something. It'd probably take like four or five shots from a handgun to take the turkey on the table down. Or it would have, anyway, if its goose wasn't already cooked.

"But I guess it's still got the same basic parts as a chicken. Oh...!" Heiji put a hand to his forehead. "Jeez, I keep forgetting. I actually do have something else for ya. Couldn't say if it counted as a Christmas present or not, but..."

He held out a necktie, which he'd stolen from one of the puzzle rooms. "Here. If it's too ugly, I guess you could just use it to tie something or wrap a wound."