CALHOUN HOUR - ESCAPE

[vivariummods]

When characters begin to wake up, instead of finding themselves in the usual warehouse, they will instead find themselves in an a very unfamiliar area. Maybe they'll wake up alone, or maybe they'll wake up with someone else. Either way, the biggest point is that they're in God-knows-where and it's the start of a new Calhoun Hour. Within seconds later, a familiar voice booms throughout the loud speakers. "Ahem, testing, testing! Hello, can you all hear me?" It's, without a doubt, your favourite robotic mouse, Calhoun. As usual, he sounds a cheery as ever. "Wow, isn't this familiar? It's almost like the first time we've met, you know. Test subject in a new location, maybe alone or maybe with someone else, my charming voice rings throughout the room, trying to drown you all in an elevator. Good times!" "Well, anyway, welcome to your new Calhoun Hour! You can see that I've taken the liberty to move you all to a more suitable location. You may not know it, with how small your brains are, but you're all stuck in a maze! I've had my fair share of running around in mazes, you know, being a mouse and all, so I want to return to favour to you humans! So, you know the drill: explore, look around, try to escape, blah blah blah, I don't need to explain all this! Just get to it! Who knows, maybe the exit here is an exit out to the real world. I might be generous like that, if you manage to find it. If not, well, I guess you can all starve here!" He snickers, then pauses. Suddenly, a loud gunshot-like sound rings throughout the speakers, and Calhoun screams again. "Let's get started!" BASIC INFO ✖ ESCAPE ✖ POST-EVENT MINGLE ✖ TURN-IN

Comments

[detectiveofthewest]

Too late. The edge of the pit broke off, sending Heiji skidding forward down the side in a cloud of dust. He didn't fall too hard; the pit wasn't that deep. But now he had spiderwebs all over himself, and...

"Spiders!"

[puzzlinglad]

"H-Heiji!" Well shit. Shit shit shit. Polite british word for fucking hell. He scrambles over to the side and-

"Spiders?!" Oh, well. That explained why it was familiar. God. Damnit. "Heiji, are you alright? Just- for goodness sake..." How the hell was Calhoun literally the worst thing alive.

"Heiji, see if you can climb up, I'll try to distract them!" He called, which. frankly his bumbling was probably already attracting some of the spiders to see what the heck was going on over there.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Okay, but they have... sneakers?" Yeah, he didn't even know what was going on there, but that's what they were wearing. The one closest to him was wearing like red Converse All-Stars or something, it was ridiculous.

Heiji started to climb back up, avoiding the spiders as best as he could, but they had the benefit of excellent traction. "There a torch up there or somethin'?"

SPIDERS HATED FIRE, RIGHT.

[puzzlinglad]

"... what?" Okay, seriously what, are you kidding me right now Calhoun. Hershel tried not to dwell, he had more important things to do like beat a spider away with his shovel because, you know, why not. This is a life they're living.

Unfortunately there's not a lot of room to maneuver and he almost fell into the hole himself, landing pretty gracelessly on his ass instead. "I- maybe?" Hershel called, looking around. He was a little worried they'd set the whole room on fire somehow if he did find one, but- "No, nothing like that..." What kind of Indiana Jones is this? Where's Jake and his lighter when you need them? Why are they wearing shoes??

He glanced to the pit, eyes narrowing. This really was pretty similar. "I think... they're moving in a pattern? Heiji, try to stay to the left." Puzzles, man. Welcome to Miracle Mask.

[detectiveofthewest]

Unfortunately, Heiji couldn't see the pattern too well because he was busy BEATING OFF SPIDERS WITH CONVERSE ALL-STARS, but he was grateful for the help. He started climbing to the left; hopefully Hershel didn't mean his other left.

He smacked his fist into part of the spider web, sending one of the spiders off-balance. It fell into the pit and landed in the dirt head-first, flailing its sneakered legs angrily in the air. "What now?"

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel took the time to homerun a spider back to the bottom of the pit, hopefully killing it or something so it wouldn't just go after succulent Osaka detective a minute later. Okay Hershel, focus.

"Um- Ah, go straight up, there's a rock jutting out over there, do you see it? When you reach that go right, you should miss them if you're fast!" He called quickly, taking a moment to pick up some stray bit of dirt or rock, whatever was lying around, and throwing it at a spider too close to Heiji.

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji scrambled up to the rock and sucker punched a spider on his way up, yeah take that jerk. A little more and he was pulling himself up to the lip of the pit, though the dirt was soft enough that he was having trouble getting enough purchase with his feet to make it over the top.

This sucked. Everything about this sucked.

[puzzlinglad]

Don't worry buddy, he's got you. Hopefully he'll do a better job of it this time but you know. He smacked another spider down the pit, rushing over as carefully as he could to kneel down and help Heiji as best he could in getting up. No falling down a ravine on his watch, no sir.

"Bloody... spiders!" He muttered, kicking out at one that was trying to get close. This sucked so bad. "Hold on..."

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji scrabbled back onto safe ground with Hershel's help, namely because he wasn't a shitlord who wouldn't let go of the stupid mask. Stupid spiders, stupid pit, stupid sneakers. Everything about this was UNACCEPTABLE.

After he took a moment to catch his breath, he'd just grab Hershel's sleeve and start pulling him out of the room. "C'mon, let's get outta here. Maybe we can find a bug bomb or somethin' and toast them later."

[puzzlinglad]

And in just a few moments Heiji proved himself a greater human being than he who shall not be named. Hershel sighed in relief when Heiji was up, more surprised than he should have been when he was dragged towards the door even though he was pretty quick to follow.

Once he was through the door and it was clear the spiders didn't plan a mass invasion of the warehouse he slowed, grasping Heiji's sleeve. "What on earth was that? Why did they have sneakers?" He really didn't sound impressed at all, I wonder why. "I- ah, the shovel, I think I left it..."

Would he go down a spiderpit for a shovel again??? Would he?? Actually he would it was Heiji's so he'd feel too bad not to.

[detectiveofthewest]

"No. We are not goin' back down there, Hershel; I don't care how much you want that shovel!" He knows you, dude. He. Knows. You.

"We can get another one in that coffin room. Or I'll give you the one I got from the incinerator." He was just going to tug Hershel into the next room: AF-14, the one with the aquarium. "What the heck is this? You mean there were all these fish in here and we still gotta eat gruel?!"

[puzzlinglad]

One time, okay. "But it's yours-" He stopped when Heiji mentioned there were more, nodding because okay. Good. He could live the rest of his life not spiderpit diving for a shovel again. "You're right."

The aquarium was a nice change of scenery, and he looked around as he spoke. "I... I wonder if this is some breeding ground to keep the facility supplied with food. Just how long are we supposed to be here?" He was going to say more when he stopped, tugging Heiji's sleeve. "Heiji..." He whispered, nodding to where he was staring. Guess who was staring back at them, eight legs wriggling angrily behind the glass. Guess.

[detectiveofthewest]

"It's okay," said Heiji, touching Hershel's shoulder -- though whether it was to reassure Hershel or himself was uncertain.

"W-we don't know if it's the same..." But there it was, proof: one of its legs was shorter than the rest. As if it had recently grown back....

Suddenly, the water in the tank filled with ink, becoming entirely dark and cloudy. "What the... it used its ink?" Dumb octopus, hahaha, they couldn't even get at it through the tank.

[puzzlinglad]

"It must be sacred of us..." Hershel tried, relaxing just a little because yes, maybe it wasn't a cold blooded sack of shit just waiting for revenge. He was seriously nervous about an octopus, what the hell. "We did... well, eat it." And it was delicious, come at me octopus.

Shaking his head he glanced back to Heiji, unable to shake the feeling he was still being watched behind all that darkness. "This is a rather nice room compared to the others, at least. Spiders, honestly..." He sighed, glancing over at the- "Is that a pond?" He asked, heading over to check it out first hand.

[detectiveofthewest]

"Ha, yeah! It must be shakin' in its boots since -- " But Heiji never had a chance to finish his sentence because an eight-armed menace suddenly launched itself across the floor and grabbed his ankle from under one of the tank displays. He tripped and barely managed to avoid falling flat on his face as he hit the ground.

IT HAD BEEN WAITING

IT USED ITS INK AS A DISTRACTION AND SOMEHOW QUIETLY SNUCK OUT WHEN THEY DROPPED THEIR GUARD

[puzzlinglad]

"H-Heiji!" THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN fucking octopi are way too smart, they juggle crabs and shit, they never stood a chance against it.

Hershel really wasn't sure how to help with this situation so he tried stomping on the tentacle grabbing at Heiji, muttering a sorry to the poor, murderous thing and hoping they could just. escape. maybe to the other side of the room before anyone got inked in the face or drowned or whatever the creature had planned.

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji, meanwhile, was taking a less apologetic approach to this problem, pulling out his switchblade and knifing the octopus. Unfortunately, he apparently hit its ink pouch or something, because now ink was just EVERYWHERE.

"What is this thing's problem?!"

[puzzlinglad]

"Oh for-" Heiji. Hershel tried to cover his face, taking a step blindly and, like the champion he is in his heart, stepping on one of the things tentacles and falling rather spectacularly on his back.

"Oof-" Is all he has to say to that, trying to kick the thing away. His pants were probably now covered in ink, why not, right? Why not. "It has to be dead by this point!"

[detectiveofthewest]

This was kind of a disaster, but you know what. Heiji wasn't going to take chances. He hurled the octopus into another tank -- one that had a rather large predatory fish swimming around (could it be a shark maybe it was a shark).

The fish snapped up several of the octopus's legs in one bite and then a truly epic battle began.

Heiji made his way shakily to his feet and held out a hand to Hershel. "You okay?"

[puzzlinglad]

Absolutely it's a shark, why the hell not, they're fighting an octopus. There is no god here.

Hershel stared at the tank for a moment, jesus discover channel shit much, before lifting a hand to find it covered in ink. He sighed- oh well, at least it wasn't like he was going to tea with the Queen or anything, before glancing over at Heiji and his offered hand.

He couldn't help a small laugh after a moment, shaking his head and taking Heiji's hand to help pull himself up. "For goodness's sake, how did we almost get beaten by a sea creature?" Skill, basically. His humor faded somewhat. "I'm alright, bit of a mess though- what about you?"

[detectiveofthewest]

"Just a little messy, I guess," said Heiji. He looked around just in case there were some other threats lurking about, but aside from the sharktopus gladiatorial match, the coast looked clear.

"I can't believe that thing was still after us. C'mon, let's keep going. This room's pretty big; maybe we'll find some clues or somethin'."

[puzzlinglad]

"Do you think it will survive... that?" Hershel really isn't sure he believed what he was seeing in this epic fight over there. Would they ever get to see their friend the vengeful octopus again after this? Stay tuned...

Taking a step away from the ink mess was probably the best thing to do. "Agreed. You know this is a rather lovely room besides... all of that." He mentioned, heading down and pausing when he noticed something on the ground. He kneeled, picking it up to examine... really, really stale bread? He looked puzzled but turned to hold it out to Heiji so he could get a look.

[detectiveofthewest]

Heiji looked back at the octopus-shark battle, but before he could answer Hershel's question, the shark gobbled the octopus up whole. It patrolled angrily around the tank then, as if irritated that its latest meal had been so argumentative.

"No one could survive that," Heiji said, unknowingly stumbling on like the biggest movie cliche ever. One day...

He took one of the bread crumbs from Hershel. "Hey, that's a pond up there, ain't it? Maybe there's some more fish! I sure don't see any ducks."

[puzzlinglad]

Hershel let out a soft sigh, feeling torn. "Goodbye, octopus. You were a tough sort, for an intended meal." He said to the tank. Truly that was it and they'd never have to deal with that enemy again.

"Oh, yes-" He walked over to the pond, kneeling a bit to get a good look before sounding rather pleased. "Ah, come look, Heiji, I think it's a koi pond. Lovely little things, aren't they?"

[detectiveofthewest]

"Seriously?" Heiji hopped on over and bent down over the water. "Hey, check it out!"

He tossed his bread crumb in the water. "See that one with the big red spot on its head? That's a Tancho. And that yellow and white one over there's a Doitsu koi. It's a crossbreed between a Japanese koi and a German black carp. You can tell by how orderly its scales are."