vivarium | CALHOUN HOUR

When characters begin to wake up, instead of finding themselves in the usual warehouse, they will instead find themselves in an a very unfamiliar area. Maybe they'll wake up alone, or maybe they'll wake up with someone else. Either way, the biggest point is that they're in God-knows-where and it's the start of a new Calhoun Hour.

Within seconds later, a familiar voice booms throughout the loud speakers.

"Ahem, testing, testing! Hello, can you all hear me?"

It's, without a doubt, your favourite robotic mouse, Calhoun. As usual, he sounds a cheery as ever.

"Wow, isn't this familiar? It's almost like the first time we've met, you know. Test subject in a new location, maybe alone or maybe with someone else, my charming voice rings throughout the room, trying to drown you all in an elevator. Good times!"

"Well, anyway, welcome to your new Calhoun Hour! You can see that I've taken the liberty to move you all to a more suitable location. You may not know it, with how small your brains are, but you're all stuck in a maze! I've had my fair share of running around in mazes, you know, being a mouse and all, so I want to return to favour to you humans! So, you know the drill: explore, look around, try to escape, blah blah blah, I don't need to explain all this! Just get to it! Who knows, maybe the exit here is an exit out to the real world. I might be generous like that, if you manage to find it. If not, well, I guess you can all starve here!"

He snickers, then pauses. Suddenly, a loud gunshot-like sound rings throughout the speakers, and Calhoun screams again.

"Let's get started!"

BASIC INFO ✖ ESCAPE ✖ POST-EVENT MINGLE ✖ TURN-IN

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Heh. Reminds me of something your mom said to me last night when I was--

[alfendi's badass sex-burn about heiji's weird samurai mom would have totally destroyed heiji's confidence and self-respect as a human being, but. it's unfortunately cut short by a loud, piercing noise ringing right next to alfendi's ear as soon as he steps foot inside the room. it shuts him up pretty bad.

and yeah that's it. that's the trap. a super loud highpitched noise that just rings everyone's ears real bad. like a whine or a scream or something. it's a noise that also reminds alfendi of heiji's mom last night so yeah i'm a serious rper. i actually forgot about the song thing until i'd written all this so we're doing this trap instead yep glad we're all on the same page here]

Oh my god-- [he covers his ears, the passionate noises of heiji's mom simply being too much to bare.]

Heiji was about to give Alfendi this Look, but instead when the shrieking noise started, he reached into his pockets and brought out a little wad of cotton. He tore off two pieces of material and used them to plug his ears. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

He also gave two pieces to Hershel.

Then he stared right into Alfendi's creepy old man eyes, put out one arm, and dropped the rest of the cloth on the floor.

[villainous dog. slimy cur. filthiest rapscallion of the worst degree. alfendi ought to gut heiji where he stands like the backstabbing turncoat he is!!!!

but instead, he slams his foot down on each piece of cotton, individually ripping them apart with the heel of his shoe. all while staring back at heiji with creepy old-man-ishness. he completely destroys every little fragment of material until they've all been torn to shreds, because he's an adult, and because screw you heiji. the shrieking noise immediately stops when he's done with his tantrum.

alfendi huffs.]

--when I was banging her. [blank stare.] When I was banging your mom. Last night.

"Alfendi-" Hershel started what was no doubt a valid interruption about how he was sure Heiji's mother was a lovely woman who wouldn't be promiscuous with random English men when wow, ears. "Ah-"

That's all he ultimately has to add, why always with the ears. First the fucking foghorn now this. He was going to gratefully take that cotton, offering Heiji a smile for his supreme being a real bro over here, stuffing it into his ears which is kind of a miracle since apparently they don't bother drawing him with legitimate ear canals. Even though he should have been focusing on that great mystery of life he, instead, watched this stupid exchange with a look that was concerned, unimpressed and bordering on rolling his eyes, probably.

"You're both ridiculous." He sighed, voice maybe a little too loud as he pulled out the cloth and looked Alfendi over with concern. "Are you alright? How are your ears?"

"I'm sure his ears're fine," said Heiji, watching as Alfendi stomped on the cotton gj A++ adult. "It's his mouth that could use some washin' out with soap."

But okay, looking around the room and under one of the mattresses, where he found some sort of thin book or magazine with a paper bag cover. "Oh hey, one of these things. Don't schoolkids make these covers...?"

[Alfendi just sort of grumpily and butthurtishly waves Hershel's question off, because he's a child. he grunts, which i guess almost constitutes an answer, and then he walks over to another part of the room, rubbing his ears with his fingertips and looking generally as annoyed as he possibly can. because that hurt. fuckin traps.

he watches heiji be a loserly loser loser stupid detective, and he arches an eyebrow when the kid pulls the book out from one of the mattresses. it's... pretty clear right away what kind of book that is. clear to alfendi at least. probably not clear to these two cherubic angels]

Hershel, don't look at that book. [protect his innocence...]

That wasn't an answer, and Hershel kind of regarded Alfendi walking butthurtingly away with concern but decided not to push it because doormat basically. At least Heiji had found something that probably wasn't terrible, so over there he went, looking over the paperbag cover with a raised brow.

"I suppose so- it doesn't look big enough to be a standard textbook, though." He mused, about to reach out to take a look when Alfendi warned them of the dire situation they were in. "What- why?"

Alfendi, you nerd, didn't you know that telling teenagers not to do something only made them want to do it more? Heiji frowned at the book, but he couldn't see any razorblades inside or anything, so with a shrug, he simply flipped it open to the first page chance chose.

By some small miracle, he did not reach a page with naked ladies on it, but a feature on fly fishing. And also a lady in a midriff shirt off to one side wearing waders incorrectly. "It's about... fly fishing lures...?"

CALHOUN HOUR - ESCAPE

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