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[In the time before the puzzle room goes up and after the happy friendship party that was the last Calhoun (Zero?) Hour feel free to use this post for whatever you want. Top levels, threads with dudes, whatever, live life freely.]

[If you're interested in harassing Hershel here's what he'll be doing:

a) Asking people if they want laundry done. Not unmentionables, he's not some sort of cad here, but he's got shit all to do, can't sleep and might as well do something useful, right? Right. Feel free to find him near the stream, trying not to nod off since getting shocked in the water probably wasn't the best idea in the world. Possibly. Or trying to mend tears or something and making a mess of it. He'll never be a proper old maid at this rate.

b) Trying to play videogames maybe? And by 'play' I mean 'make faces at as they get steadily worse.' He might try a movie or two in the vain hope something will be manageable to watch but yeah. Yeah. Basically any late night lounge activity, assuming no one's already asleep in there, have at.

c) These are hard to think of, I guess trying to fencing practice in the gym with his shiny new foil, curtesy of Mr. Sasuke Sagami. Try not to get accidentally jabbed by a giant needle with a blunt bit on the end, it probably sucks.

Or whatever, do whatever you'd like. He'll basically be wandering around aimlessly mostly anyway, being completely useless to everyone because he's tired.]

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Heiji looked at Hershel quizzically; what was the point of an enemy you couldn't even fight? The ghost made a scary 'woooo' noise and floated up off the screen, leaving wizard Heiji to occupy himself by hitting a gate with his spell. The gate burst open and a wyvern emerged. It made a beeline for Hershel and tried to eat him.

Whoops.

Heiji.

"Heiji..." Look at this. Any put off expression was kind of ruined by his amusement, even if the monster was currently chewing on his head. He was probably a paladin or something similar, as similar as an incredibly shitty game like this would allow. Shockingly he dies pretty early on since the game seemed to decide his sword could only swing to his right side for a few minutes and well out of the wyvern's reach.

He turned to Heiji as his revive countdown began, brow raised. "It's red, maybe it'll be hurt by ice or something?" Said wyvern was probably now trying to whisk wizard Heiji off in a tornado. "... or I suppose not. Your guess is as good as mine, good luck with that."

Heiji's wizard was blown up into the air and hit by lightning. He blinked a couple times, then ran into some sort of grim reaper character that drained his health and turned him into a pink bunny. What an amazing adventure...

The wyvern stomped around angrily with no one to savage, sorry Mr. Wyvern. Bunny Heiji, on the other hand, was busy running toward a prison cell to unlock the treasure inside. Unfortunately, bunnies did not have hands.

THIS GAME WAS TERRIBLE.

Meanwhile Hershel's revive countdown began counting up so he had no damn idea what was going on there. Sometimes it turned into letters too so he was half convinced it was trying to tell him some sort of code or something. Clearly this was a puzzle game, right.

Thankfully Heiji's adventures were more than entertaining enough, and he couldn't help laughing as the wyvern raged helplessly outside while Heiji's rabbit form just messed around to it's heart's content. Given the overall quality of the game the wyvern probably started flying around upside down and backwards, thank you good old Skyrim glitch, so he assumed it was trying to confuse them into submission or something.

"Finally." He said when his character popped back to life, hurrying out of the clusterfuck that was the outside in hopes of finding a way inside. Maybe his hands could open that chest, god knew how long this game would keep Heiji a rabbit. Of course he made the mistake of walking by a little trench, from which something that looked quite a lot like octopus tentacles grabbed him and started wailing him against a wall.

"I suppose arts imitates life." God damnit. It had to be an octopus.

Rabbit Heiji tried to save poor, threatened Hershel... but instead, an orc strapped a rocket to his back and he blasted off. In the upper corner of the screen, rabbit Heiji was now on the moon, dutifully working the grill at a part time job.

Heiji stared at the screen in disbelief and shook his head. What kind of game was this...

Hershel was busy watching Heiji blast off again, ding, he didn't really pay much attention to his character being strangled or drowned or something ghastly on the side of the screen. Needless to say it ended with a skeleton being spit out of the trench.

Well goodness.

"This is bloody mental." Hershel finally said, placing his controller on his lap and looking at Heiji. "Ready to try another or do you want to go for that promotion at the moon grill." What a life.

Heiji motioned to the shelf of games, bring it bro. Not that... the other ones were guaranteed to be much better. On impulse, he plucked out one that seemed to have an under the sea theme? Maybe you played as a fish or something?

Or maybe it was just an octopus angrily savaging you and your friends...

Heiji, your choices... Hershel was oblivious.

"Oh, that looks rather nice." He said in the tone of someone trying very hard to find nice things to say about these games. He took the game to put it in, taking a seat again when the game was in place.

The title screen looked peaceful enough, and you played as a diver, surely nothing would go wrong? "Well, worth a shot-"

And almost immediately after starting Hershel's diver is bum-rushed by a shark that very noisily and graphically rips his legs off. The game is kind enough to show the details in full as Hershel stared, dumbfounded. "M-my word!"

Wow, Calhoun. Wow. What was this, Jaws: The Video Game?

You know what, maybe they should try a different game... Heiji put in a different one, one which appeared to be about nice, abstract colored blocks. Clearly nothing could go wrong...

At least it wasn't an octopus. Or spiders with shoes on.

Hershel looked at this new game skeptically, burned too many times by these games to offer them the benefit of the doubt anymore. Surely nothing but horror was behind this plastic casing, pain and agony with no end, etc. When the game started the music was kind of horrifyingly monotone, like something that was subtly trying to drive you insane with some backwards message hidden in it or some bullshit like that, but otherwise it looked harmless??

"I don't trust this." Hershel informed Heiji as he moved what seemed to be his nice colored block across the screen.

No, look, clearly this game was 100% nice and relaxing, although strangely, every time one of them chose to move, a little red area on the upper right corner of the screen seemed to pulse and grow bigger, hmmm...

Heiji frowned up at it, but surely it was nothing to worry about.

Hershel was too tired to be sharp enough to notice the growing horror in the horizon, instead focusing on the fact the game wasn't awful so far. In fact he was almost enjoying it?

"I'm not really sure what the point of this is but it's a nice change of pace so far." Maybe it was just a nice, relaxing game. Maybe nothing bad would happen. Maybe he could continue exploring random shape world without fear. That pulse was probably the sun or something.

The music began getting faster, and Hershel frowned. "Maybe this is supposed to be a race?"

Heiji continued spreading some blue cells in his little corner, but that red area was still getting bigger, beginning to spread in strange, blockish tendrils across the screen.

Soon parts of it began to turn black and dead, hmm...

Edited 2015-03-05 03:30 (UTC)

"Oh for goodness's sake, what is that?" Yup, he should have expected this... whatever this was. "Eldritch colored block game?"

Maybe this was fine? Maybe it was fun to avoid the cthulu blocks? The music was getting disturbing to the point of grating as he now tried to do just that, watching block after block fall to their end and turn black behind him, the screen seeming to shrink... hm indeed.

Suddenly, little dark bugs began pouring out of the holes in the screen, skittering in all directions and leaving trails of decay trailing after them. The squares that they touched lost all color and the music had now turned into ~~screeching, pounding dissonance~~ jazz.

Why was everything in this room terrible.

Hershel just watched the end of the world, making this exact face. "Why can't anything in this lounge be bloody pleasant for a moment?"

He sighed and turned to Heiji, placing the controller down. "Did you play games like this much before we ended up here? You don't really strike me as the type."

Heiji considered this for a second or two, started to shrug, then shook his head. He was pretty sure he never played creepy bug-infested video games with sharks tearing off divers' limbs, sorry Hershel.

Meanwhile, the theme music turned into something more mellow as the holes continued to belch black bugs.

I think I was more into reading.

Hershel turned to regard the screen, a bit surprised at the sudden saxophone. Such smooth jazz for whatever the heck was happening on screen now. What a weird game.

"Reading and getting into trouble." He said after a moment, amused. "I suppose playing a highspeed chase isn't as thrilling as chasing criminals on motorcycles."

Heiji shook his head. No, Hershel. It was way, way better. THE THRILL OF JUST ESCAPING BEING RUN OVER BY AN EIGHTEEN-WHEELER. You had to be there, man.

But you know. The music was actually strangely soothing, as long as you didn't look at the screen. An octopus swam angrily past the inky black that now covered the rest of the level.

Heiji suggested with the flick of his wrist that they turn the video game off and... maybe do something more pleasant. Like check on Hershel's mint plant. He mimed... hmm. It was supposed to be a stem and leaves, but maybe it looked more like someone pulling corn off the back of a truck or something.

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GODDAMMIT I FORGOT HE CAN'T TALK

LMFAO i'm glad you editted, I completely missed this tag...

let's fail together

comrades in failure arms

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