All I Want For Christmas Is Calhoun

[vivariummods]

Well, it's yet another day of AB Rounds. For anyone keeping track, it's been three days since their second Calhoun Hour event, so they're back to playing in these terrible puzzle rooms. Calhoun even calls everyone to the second floor so time to trek along... But instead of finding a brand new set of doors, everyone will find... Christmas decorations? A small Christmas tree in the centre, obnoxious flashing lights on the walls, a table full of food, and is that a snow machine in the corner? There's even holiday-themed songs playing, such as 'All I Want For Christmas Is Calhoun', 'Joy to Calhoun', 'Silent Test Subjects', and, of course, 'We Wish You A Merry Betrayal'. (Well... mostly holiday-themed. At least they have the same tune, so if you can just ignore the lyrics, it'll be close enough.) Dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, Calhoun sits in a large red chair in the back and yells at everyone to come closer. He strokes his fake beard (which... he put over his gas mask...) as he speaks. "Meeeeeerry Christmas, test subjects! Welcome to my holiday party! Because I'm such a saint, I took it upon myself to spread some cheer and joy into you dull bunch. You're so depressing sometimes, I have to wonder who died," he snickers to himself. "Anyway! I'm pushing back the Ambidex Rounds by a few days. I know, I know, I'm disappointed too! But I'm only one mouse, so you can't rush these things. So, you can have this party in the meanwhile." "Also, since it's Christmas, I'm letting everyone choose one gift for themselves and their beeeeestest friend. Of course, I have final say on whether you can get it or not, so don't get your hopes up, but Lord Calhoun, just how do I get these gifts, you may say. It's quite simple! Just sit on my warm lap and tell me how kind and giving I am, then you can have your present! Isn't that nice?" "So, get to it! Hee-ho-ho!" BASIC INFO ✖ EVENT STATIONS ✖ MINGLE ✖ POST-EVENT MINGLE OOC REQUESTS

Comments

[fairsfair]

[ Jake could have been practical, he could have taken Heiji's advice and get a med kit. He could have gotten something useful, but no. Instead, what did he get himself? A goddamn food basket. Well, at least he rigged his gift to get multiple things, so this is good with him. He doesn't have to completely rely on the caf's piss poor choice in food, and he can keep these just in case he somehow loses access to the caf. That, or if he just wants a goddamn picnic by himself. Don't judge him, he can do whatever he wants now. ]

[ So, he's going to sit back, enjoy his nice new apple, and probably just hang around the lounge. Probably staring at the blank TV because you know what, it's better than watching the garbage that they actually have here. ]

[ Anyway, this is a catch-all thread. Ask if him he actually made you gifts (he probably didn't), force him to play video games, steal from his food basket, ask him about his latest memory (minus a dad and plus a mom lecturing him), etc. ]

【 closed to ema 】

[ Before he bums in the lounge, he'll go off and try to find Ema in this giant warehouse. Don't you start hiding now, he actually has something for you and he's going to make sure you take it. ]

[puzzlinglad]

[Wow, idiot, you did it, you beat the system and now have food. I hope it's fancy cheeses and ridiculous nonsense like that. But yeah seriously Hershel's on the prowl trying to find you, pausing when he notices the apple.]

Ah, is that what you asked for? [Clever. He's holding something behind his back, smiling.] Close your eyes, I have a gift for you.

[fairsfair]

[ He can make a cheeseburger, with great buns, plenty of meat to love, and sexy lettuces and yes I'm bringing this back. ]

Didn't I tell you that was 20-something, not five? You didn't have to get me anything.

[puzzlinglad]

[you're trying to kill me you punk jerk.]

Come on, don't be grumpy on Christmas- or whatever it actually is. [close your eyes, loser.]

[fairsfair]

[ you know you love it, cheeseburgers, gta: vivarium, and scar dick jake ]

Fine, just this once.

[ He knows that Hershel is probably just going to keep nagging him about it, so he knows to just shut up and do it, so closing his eyes with a siiiiigh. ]

[puzzlinglad]

[you still need an icon of that.]

[He grins, really tempted to just whollop Jake with this pillow but instead just sort of gently papping his face with it so it falls in his lap.] Ta-da. What do you think? A bit boring, I know, but at least it'll make sleeping more comfortable, right?

[fairsfair]

[ i'm going to commission some super professional artist and ask them to draw me an icon of scar dick jake ]

[ And if Hershel attempted to hit Jake in the face with that pillow, this would have turned into a full-scale war, but he jerks back (completely from reflexes) when the pillow's thrown at him. He opens his eyes and takes a look at his lap. ]

... You've spent your once-in-a-lifetime chance on a pillow?

[ And, while he won't say it, he will imply 'and you've spent your chance on me, why......' ]

[detectiveofthewest]

Hey Jake hey

Heiji walked into the lounge holding his new first aid kit, ugly Christmas sweater draped over one shoulder at least until he could find Sasuke and give it to him instead. He grinned when he saw the food basket.

"Hey, check it out! Ya asked for somethin' after all. Didja manage to break Calhoun while you were at it?"

[fairsfair]

Jake just gave a look, like what the shit is wrong with you.

"Like hell I sat on his lap. I just wrote him a note in the suggestion box." He weaseled his way out of having to ask Santa Calhoun the normal way. "Don't tell me you actually sat on him."

[detectiveofthewest]

"Oh, you could do that?" Heiji shrugged; on the long list of shit that had gone down since he'd gotten here, sitting on Calhoun didn't even make his top five.

Plus, he'd still never made out with Calhoun. No one could take that away from him.

"Well, whatever. I got this kit and a journal for Clive to write stuff in. So try not to get stabbed or anything, but if ya do, I'll help ya out."

[fairsfair]

"Yeah, he mentioned it at the end of the day," so of course Jake went for that route. He would rather shoot himself in the leg than sit on that robotic rodent's lap (or stab himself, not like he hasn't done that before).

"Thanks, but no thanks. Use it on yourself. Managed to get a first aid kit for myself." You may proceed to ask..... h... ow??

[detectiveofthewest]

"Yeah? How?" Calhoun had always seemed rather stingy with the whole supplies thing. And honestly, Jake didn't seem like Calhoun's favoritest test subject, so...

You didn't stab yourself again, did you Jake

[fairsfair]

Wow, why was that the first place you jump to, that he stabbed himself. Did he already have that kind of reputation with him

"Pulled a coin from a slice of cake, which apparently gets you an extra prize." He wasn't complaining, though, since he got a nice med kit from it. "So you can worry about yourself or something else."

[skyentificmethod]

[she is actually fairly easy to find; most nights she sleeps in the garden and this is no different, except now there's presents and a surprising amount of awakeness for someone decidedly not a morning person]

Merry Christmas, old man.

[fairsfair]

[ They can both be surprisingly awake for this morning, since Christmas apparently has that effect on little children, so here is Jake, wearing the jacket that Ema got him. ]

Merry Christmas. [ Wow, what's this? He's being nice and saying shit like merry christmas? it's a miracle ] Here, catch.

[ Since Jake doesn't know how to pass things over like a normal human being, he gently tosses a bag towards here. Heeeere's your favourite Snackoos. ]

[skyentificmethod]

[she actually catches it, eyebrows rising once she notices what it is]

What's this for? I thought you hated these things. ...Thanks, by the way.

[fairsfair]

Still do, which is why I've figured you'd enjoy them more. This way, you don't have to go around stabbing people again for a bag.

[skyentificmethod]

That only happened once. And you could've said no.

[fairsfair]

Guess you could say that you were really persuasive, with the way you were swinging that knife.

[ He knows that she wasn't actually just flinging it around (besides that one time) but he'll exaggerate. ]

And looking at your chocolate addiction, it's not too far-fetched that you might have tried to get another bag through screwing someone over.

[vengefulyears]

[Continuing on his quest to photograph every test subject, Clive wanders in the lounge and spots an unsuspecting Jake chilling on the couch. Perfect.

Normally he would ask for permission to take a picture, but Clive already knows what Jake's answer will be so he's just going to skip that step. He turns his camera on and gets it into position before he starts to approach Jake.]

Jake! Nice day we're having today, isn't it? [And as soon as Jake turns to look at him, Clive immediately snaps the photo and takes a brief look at the screen, going on again without even giving Jake an opportunity to answer his question.] Ah, yes, this one's a keeper for sure. Goodbye now!

[And then he just casually turns around and leaves.]

[fairsfair]

[ ... What the shit was that. Like hell Jake was just going to let Clive get off with doing... well, what seemed like Clive taking a photo. ]

Hey!

[ He's going to pick up this DVD case on the coffee table and toss it at Clive. Granted, not very hard and he's aiming more for the shoulder so it won't hurt as much, but he's still going to throw it. ]

[vengefulyears]

[Thanks to Jake's shout, Clive is able to step out of the way of the incoming DVD case and just turns around to look at Jake again with an innocent smile.]

What? [He has absolutely no idea why you're giving him that face.]

[fairsfair]

[ Don't you give him that innocent smile, you piece of shit. ]

You know what. Pass the camera.

[ Hand outstretched and open for it. ]

[vengefulyears]

[Clive looks thoughtfully at Jake's hand for a moment as if he might actually do it, but then--]

No thanks. [And he's walking away again, smell you later loserrrrrr]

[fairsfair]

[ Wow, fine, if you're going to be that way, Jake will get up from his couch and follow behind Clive. He will use his height to tower over Clive and just reach down as quickly as possible to forcefully grab the camera out of his hands or wherever he has it. ]