vivarium | All I Want For Christmas Is Calhoun

Well, it's yet another day of AB Rounds. For anyone keeping track, it's been three days since their second Calhoun Hour event, so they're back to playing in these terrible puzzle rooms. Calhoun even calls everyone to the second floor so time to trek along...

But instead of finding a brand new set of doors, everyone will find... Christmas decorations?

A small Christmas tree in the centre, obnoxious flashing lights on the walls, a table full of food, and is that a snow machine in the corner? There's even holiday-themed songs playing, such as 'All I Want For Christmas Is Calhoun', 'Joy to Calhoun', 'Silent Test Subjects', and, of course, 'We Wish You A Merry Betrayal'. (Well... mostly holiday-themed. At least they have the same tune, so if you can just ignore the lyrics, it'll be close enough.)

Dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, Calhoun sits in a large red chair in the back and yells at everyone to come closer. He strokes his fake beard (which... he put over his gas mask...) as he speaks.

"Meeeeeerry Christmas, test subjects! Welcome to my holiday party! Because I'm such a saint, I took it upon myself to spread some cheer and joy into you dull bunch. You're so depressing sometimes, I have to wonder who died," he snickers to himself. "Anyway! I'm pushing back the Ambidex Rounds by a few days. I know, I know, I'm disappointed too! But I'm only one mouse, so you can't rush these things. So, you can have this party in the meanwhile."

"Also, since it's Christmas, I'm letting everyone choose one gift for themselves and their beeeeestest friend. Of course, I have final say on whether you can get it or not, so don't get your hopes up, but Lord Calhoun, just how do I get these gifts, you may say. It's quite simple! Just sit on my warm lap and tell me how kind and giving I am, then you can have your present! Isn't that nice?"

"So, get to it! Hee-ho-ho!"

BASIC INFO ✖ EVENT STATIONS ✖ MINGLE ✖ POST-EVENT MINGLE
OOC REQUESTS

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[Continuing on his quest to photograph every test subject, Clive wanders in the lounge and spots an unsuspecting Jake chilling on the couch. Perfect.

Normally he would ask for permission to take a picture, but Clive already knows what Jake's answer will be so he's just going to skip that step. He turns his camera on and gets it into position before he starts to approach Jake.]

Jake! Nice day we're having today, isn't it? [And as soon as Jake turns to look at him, Clive immediately snaps the photo and takes a brief look at the screen, going on again without even giving Jake an opportunity to answer his question.] Ah, yes, this one's a keeper for sure. Goodbye now!

[And then he just casually turns around and leaves.]

[ ... What the shit was that. Like hell Jake was just going to let Clive get off with doing... well, what seemed like Clive taking a photo. ]

Hey!

[ He's going to pick up this DVD case on the coffee table and toss it at Clive. Granted, not very hard and he's aiming more for the shoulder so it won't hurt as much, but he's still going to throw it. ]

[Thanks to Jake's shout, Clive is able to step out of the way of the incoming DVD case and just turns around to look at Jake again with an innocent smile.]

What? [He has absolutely no idea why you're giving him that face.]

[ Don't you give him that innocent smile, you piece of shit. ]

You know what. Pass the camera.

[ Hand outstretched and open for it. ]

[Clive looks thoughtfully at Jake's hand for a moment as if he might actually do it, but then--]

No thanks. [And he's walking away again, smell you later loserrrrrr]

[ Wow, fine, if you're going to be that way, Jake will get up from his couch and follow behind Clive. He will use his height to tower over Clive and just reach down as quickly as possible to forcefully grab the camera out of his hands or wherever he has it. ]

[Jake, stop trying to be stealthy, Clive can hear every step you're taking because you're so big and fat like that guy from Outlast. And as soon as he hears that first step, he breaks into a run, heading towards the stairs. YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM ALIVEEEEEE]

[ WHY ARE YOU RUNNING YOU PIECE OF SHIT jake just wanted to have a nice relaxing morning with his food basket and here you are, ruining it like the little asshole you are. Well, he's going to break out into a sprint in order to catch Clive, hopefully before the pipsqueak got upstairs. He will gladly grab the back of Clive's shirt, if he can, so he can try to pick him up. YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THE TOP OF THE ELEVATOR FUCKER ]

[IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO RUN THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LET HIM LEAVE QUIETLY, GOD. Just as he's a few steps away from the top of the stairs, he hears Jake catching up and glances back in time to see him reaching out towards his collar. Clive quickly ducks under that hand and leaps forward over the few remaining steps, holding his hat down as he does his trademark legal roll at the top of the stairs to try and gain some speed. It would have worked nicely if he was in better shape and not already tired from running up the stairs, but because he is, it takes him a little too long to get back up. You better not miss this opening you fucking loser.]

[ HE WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM LEAVE QUIETLY IF THERE WASN'T A PHOTO INVOLVED and haha, Jake didn't get any injuries since the last puzzle rooms, and that was only just a burn on his hand, so he really has no trouble keeping up. He makes use of Clive's delayed stand and grabs him by picking him up, holding onto either sides of his body. He'll hold Clive up high in the air and as far away as possible, so he doesn't get kicked in the ribs or something. ]

Gotcha!

[WELL IT'S NOT CLIVE'S FAULT THAT JAKE IS CAMERA SHY and he's grabbed just as he's getting back up. Darn. At first he kicks and flails his arms out of shock, but once he's fully up in the air, he stops resisting and just lets his arms hang limply by his sides, not even trying to kick Jake or anything. He knows when he's been bested, and there's really no point in trying to struggle against someone like Jake anyway.]

Congratulations. [Hope he's not expecting a medal or anything.]

[ HE'S NOT CAMERA SHY okay a little but not if he gives permission, and good, Clive is giving up. That makes this so much easier (for when Jake will put him on top of the elevator later). ]

You want to give me the camera, or do I have to grab it out of your hands?

All I Want For Christmas Is Calhoun

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