vivarium | CALHOUN HOUR

It's another day, it's another start of Calhoun Hours. Bright and early in the morning, Calhoun marches into the middle of the first floor lobby and shrieks into his megaphone.

"All right, up to the Garden with all of you! C'mon, hurry up, I'm not going to wait for you lazy bunch!" He impatiently taps on his paw on the ground, but then stops. "Hmm, actually, nah, take your time. I'll just meet you all there in a jiffy!"

And with that, he rushes off to take the stairs to the Garden. Listen to him and slowly make your way, or rush up, it doesn't matter. After everyone assembles in the artificial room, Calhoun is standing by the waterfall, staring off into nothing. He just nods to himself a few times and doesn't even seem to notice the presence of the test subjects though. It's not until about ten seconds later that he turns and tilts his head.

"Whoa, don't sneak up on me like that, test subjects! Sheesh, trying to give this mouse a heart attack?" He huffs but then slides back to his regular mood. "So! Today's event will be called camping! Yeah, I got no clever name for it, sue me, but whatever, go set up a tent or other prep-work. I couldn't bring in all the supplies for this so you'll just have to make due until later tonight."

He runs away from the waterfall, but manages to trip on nothing a few steps in. He stays on the ground, as if trying to trick everyone that he's going to stay there for a while, but then pushes himself back up to make his way to the centre of the Garden. He then raises his arms out, as if he's presenting something.

"Even though I didn't manage to grab everything, I hope you like what I did to the place! Sure looks like a real campground, huh?" Asides from a few tent kits scattered around, there... isn't actually much at all. A few of the screen grids (that normally display the sky) are either turned off to a boring black colour or in a constant static display, but asides from that, everything looks exactly the same. Calhoun doesn't seem to really care though as he keeps on talking.

"Soooooooooooooooooooo, get to it, or something. Do whatever you test subjects do during events like these, chip chop chap!!"

BASIC INFO ✖ MINGLE

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That would be hoping for too much. *Snake seemed to be actually enjoying the activity of setting up the tent and putting it together.*

And it wasn't like working with Snake was all bad. Actually, Heiji rather liked it. It was nice being able to work with him on something constructive.

"It's weird, though... when we first got here, he was just kinda staring off into space and nodding to himself. He's been doing stuff like that more often lately. And the screens displaying the sky... some of them are turned off or displaying static. That never happened before."

That's interesting. It might mean something as simple as basic maintenance or that they're tinkering with the screens for a purpose. *Not that Snake cared either way. Working on the tent was like working on a math problem, in a way.*

"Or maybe there's somethin' wrong with them. You know, it's odd that more things in this warehouse haven't malfunctioned. It's a big operation, and technology ain't always that reliable. 'Specially new or experimental technology."

Like the kind that had taken away their memories. Funny how it always seemed to work so perfectly. But Heiji had another question for Snake.

"Do you... um. If these things are still around at nighttime, do you wanna sleep in the same tent?"

Oh? *Snake turned his head to Heiji and smiled.* Well, I'd like to but that might depend on how things are arranged between us all. We might get assigned tents for all we know.

And by the way, detective...*Snake's smile grew deeper.* Wherever did you get that nice little present you slipped in my back pocket?

"That's true. I just thought it'd be nice to sleep together again." Heiji leaned slightly up against Snake's shoulder. Even he could hardly believe he was saying these things, but -- "Last time was really nice."

It was too bad Snake missed the expression on Heiji's face when he dropped his question, but the surprise, at least, was audible in his voice. "Wha -- ! ...From the store. They started stocking them, so I... asked Calhoun what the deal was. Ugh, it was seriously the worst."

It was nice. The mattresses in the dorm aren't king sized but I think we'd manage to curl up together. *So that could certainly be a thing.*

Calhoun has condoms in the store? *Hunh. Interesting. Snake rubbed his chin in thought.* It would be even more ideal if he had tissues, lotion and bottles of lubrication.

The worst? Why? Was Calhoun harassing you about your purchase or did something else happen?

"Well... after the next AB round, then." What sort of fun would they have with 27 BP...?

Nnngh. "Well, he said he had a bunch of different kinds. Like. Flavors and so on. And he wouldn't just let me pick the kind I wanted. So I said lubricated, since... we were talkin' about that earlier." Now Heiji was picking up speed, sounding annoyed and embarrassed at the same time.

"And then he practically shrieks, 'lubricated?!', and then Clive was walking by I guess, so he came over and told me something about wrapping it before I tapped it, and then Calhoun called me a floozy and Hershelwastheretooitwasawful."

*Snake bit on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Trying to be adult and buy condoms when you never had before was bad enough but to be harassed by Calhoun, Clive and Hershel?*

So they basically made you feel bad you even opened up your mouth, right?

Heiji eyed him a bit suspiciously. This was where Snake usually said something to piss him off...

"It was embarrassing, yeah. But I had to buy them. So either way, I guess I got 'em in the end."

*Heiji has no idea of the amount of temptation Snake was resisting. However, he did concede that Heiji probably had had enough harassment that adding to it would really accomplish nothing.*

Well, that is quite fortunate that we have these. When I have a chance I'll also buy a few so that you can learn how to practice with them.

Nice one, Snake.

"Practice with them on what...?" Wow, Snake, don't make promises you can't keep.

Well, I would assume if you want to learn how to use a condom, you'd want to practice on yourself. At some point. If you're interested.

"You know, in Japan, sex education is mandatory. At ten. So I'm pretty sure I already know how." Great, now Heiji was blushing again.

"But... there's no harm in practicing. And I'm definitely interested. Maybe, um... when I'm up to 27 BP?"

Oh? *Snake hadn't been aware of that fact.* Well that makes things certainly easier.

Would you...like a little help with some practice when you reach 27 BP, Heiji? *Snake's smile grew decidedly deeper.*

"...I think I would." God, someone just. Dump a pile of scarlet letters on him right now. Just buy one of those shiny embossed letter packs from the office supply store and dump them on him.

*Snake couldn't detect anything that sounded like nervousness. It sounded more like Heiji was quite eager to delve into further carnal mysteries. Admittedly Snake had been quite cautious with what they did as he suspected Heiji was completely new to the idea. It wouldn't do to overwhelm someone. However, if someone was willing to learn a bit more, that was quite a different story. Snake would be more than willing to have Heiji swim in a pool of scarlet letters if that's what he wanted.*

Looks like we'll have something to look forward to in the next few days, hmm?

Heiji did like swimming. He slipped a hand onto Snake's shoulder, leaned in, and spoke softly in his ear. "I'll be countin' down the days."

Then he went back to assembling the tent, face flushed but still looking rather pleased. Shut up, he wasn't distracted. He was doing a good job assembling this tent.

CALHOUN HOUR - CAMPING

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